It’s been 4 months since I left my job, the job that I held on to for the past 8.5 years.
Today, I look back and I feel glad, relieved and have no regrets of leaving that job. During the days before I decided to quit, I had many sleepless nights, thinking to myself, weighing the pros and cons. A part of me wanted to stay because of the financial security and the priceless freedom I have been enjoying all these years. Another side of me though was silently weeping and longing for self-fulfillment, which my ex-job was not able to provide.
Eventually, my heart ruled and reminded me…We all have one life to live. Listen to your heart’s desires because the more you suppress it, the more it will bother you until you take action. We should pursue our bucket list because we cannot guarantee what tomorrow will bring. We only have today so we should make it count.
I had a heavy heart for a few days after I decided to leave because I knew I might not have the opportunity to go back and live and work overseas again, a priceless experience that I will forever hold dear to my heart.
Within this four month period, I took time to rest, recharge, travel for a month and spend time with family. I am very grateful for this rare opportunity. I know not everyone can afford to bum around for awhile. At first, I had difficulties accepting the fact that my bank account was not receiving any income monthly and I will have to spend wisely from now on. I also had to accept weaknesses on how things work back in my home country. Despite all these, I had peace of mind, something which I havent felt for so long. I am so happy to have spent time with my parents most of all. To this day, I do not regret my decision despite the mixed reactions and noise from family and acquaintances.
Today, when an old colleague told me that the retired former head of the division I left behind discovered my recent job prospect, I was surprised and caught off guard. News travels fast. Initially, I got worried about her impression of me and my motivations of quitting.
However, my heart gave me a pat on the back saying, you do not owe anyone an explanation. This is your life. You are in charge. You are the driver. Do not be affected by other people’s comments even if they sound negative. You have one life to live so do the things you enjoy while you can. Life is too short to be worrying.
Next week, I am meant to get an update on my job prospect. I will take it as a sign that if it pushes through, it is meant for me but if not, something better is in store and that I have to persevere no matter what.
I wish that my next job would bring me peace of mind and a sense of fulfillment.
I hope to find and be in that flow again, where I dont feel forced to work for the sake of earning money.
I have a long way to go but someday, I hope to discover my talent and purpose and share it with the world. As the priest lectured during homily yesterday, use your blessings wisely.